… because maybe, if I put it all out there, I just might feel a little bit better. In bullets, and in no particular order:
- Changing jobs after working in the same position, at the same hospital, for 16 years. It’s not that I doubt my ability to do the new job. It’s the people. I’m really worried about how much I’m going to miss the people. They’re like family to me.
- Finding before and after school care for my daughter for the last two weeks of the school year. And for the fall, for that matter. This is not something I’ve ever had to concern myself with, since I have worked mostly nights since my daughter started school.
- Finding childcare for the summer. A. is registered for four weeks of day camps this summer, and hubby and I took a week off to go camping, but there are four more weeks that I need to arrange childcare for. My mom has offered to take her, but for reasons that will become obvious in a moment, I’m not sure she will be in any shape to do so. At least for the first few weeks of the summer.
- My mom slipped off the stairs in front of our house last Friday, and broke her ankle. I am constantly concerned about how she is getting along at home, given that she is unable to bear any weight on that foot, and she lives alone.
- Obviously, I am concerned that my mom will not be in any shape to watch A. for the early weeks of summer vacation, and we will be left without childcare at the last minute. Her next appointment with her orthopedic surgeon is on June 28th- the second last day of school. That’s cutting it pretty close. It might sound selfish that I am concerned with my own needs while my mom has a broken ankle, but trying to plan for the worst case scenario is simply my way of trying to gain some control over a situation that can’t be controlled. It’s what I do.
- I have to buy a new car (new to me, that is- I always buy used cars and pay cash). I will be working out of my car in my new job, so having a reliable vehicle (with working air conditioning) is a must. My 15 year old Grand Am just isn’t going to cut it. And I HATE car shopping.
- Clothes shopping. I live in scrubs and sweats. Now I have to dress business casual five days per week. And I HATE clothes shopping.
- Our lawnmower just died, and is being repaired as we speak. I dropped my iPhone and cracked the screen. I’m going to have to have that repaired, too.
- We have a tree in the back yard that needs to be cut down. We have a fence in the back yard that is falling down, and is presently tied to that tree because the end post has rotted. So it looks like we have to build a fence, too.
- Money. Of course. Looking at the last four items on this list, you can see just how much of it we’ll be spending in the next few weeks. And that gives me terrible anxiety, because I’ve become quite attached to my fat savings account.
- Figuring out how fitness is going to fit into my new work schedule. I will be working 8 hour days, like a normal person, at the new job, rather than the rotating 12 hour shifts that I am accustomed to. I am going to have to figure out what works for me in terms of fitting in workouts on days that I have to work. Do I exercise before or after work? Which days will be rest days? My work schedule used to dictate my fitness schedule… now I actually have some choices.
- My ballet recital. What on earth was I thinking- agreeing to get up on a stage in front of hundreds of people in a pink tutu? I am terrified I’m going to fuck up, and look like an idiot!
- My relationship with my husband. Once I change jobs, we will be working the same hours most of the time. Which means we will be home together ALL. THE. TIME. We love each other, but we also love our space. It will be really interesting to see how we adapt.
- My daughter’s birthday party. It is booked for June 3rd, and the RSVPs have been coming in for days. I have yet to order a cake, or the pizza, or purchase plates, cups, cutlery, decorations, or party favours. Did I mention that she wants a rainbow unicorn theme? First of all, WTF is a rainbow unicorn??? And where on earth am I going to find someone to make me a (cheap) rainbow unicorn cake, and accessories to match? And don’t say Pinterest… that site is EVIL. Every time I have looked for ideas there, I have ended up feeling like a total failure at pretty much everything I do.
- Figuring out what to delegate to my husband… because clearly, I have to delegate some of this to him (well, the lawnmower, fence and tree issues are typically his domain anyway, but finding the money to pay for it all is most definitely my domain). There’s no way in hell I can accomplish all of this and stay somewhat sane.
- The fact that almost all of this must be accomplished in the next FOUR WEEKS.
I think that’s about all.
And no, I really don’t feel much better.