#MicroblogMondays- Limbo

image1Being in limbo is hard.  You would think, after all those years of two week waits, and multiple possibly viable/possibly not pregnancies, I would be accustomed to living with uncertainty about really important stuff, but I’m here to say that it NEVER gets any easier.

I haven’t heard about the job, for those who are wondering.  But I know that they have called my references.  And I did receive a nice e-mail (in response to the note I sent to thank them for the interview) from my HR contact at the company, telling me that, rest assured, I did not completely blow it because I was ill, and that they will be in contact sometime this week.  At least I know that I still have a shot at this one.

Not unlike those years of painfully long luteal phases, and excruciating waits between ultrasounds, waiting to find out the fate of the baby I was carrying at the time, I find myself waiting again.  Waiting for news about something that could drastically alter the course of my life.  And with the waiting comes the wondering.  And the over-analyzing.  Is this really the right job for me?  What if the salary is less than I hope it will be?  Just how much of a pay cut am I willing to take for an improved lifestyle?  What will happen to all my summer plans if I accept this new job?  Will I have to cancel everything?  Will I be lonely, working all by myself, after all these years of working in a hospital with thousands of employees?  What if I miss my coworkers (who, after 18 years together, are like family to me)?  What if I absolutely hate it, and sink into a deep depression?  What if, what if, what if…

Of course, none of this will matter unless they offer me the job… so I’m trying really, REALLY hard to just take this one day at a time.  But I’ve never been much good at that.

I really hope I hear something soon….

 

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10 comments
  1. Thank you everyone! They have contacted me regarding salary expectations, so I can only assume that they are very interested. But a lot has to fall into place before I actually accept an offer, so I’m still sitting here in limbo.

  2. Oy. I hope you hear soon and that it’s good news — not just getting the job but that all the pieces with it fall into place. Waiting is so hard.

  3. I’ve come to believe that everything happens for a reason. Crossing fingers that this position comes to fruition — if not, truly believe it is because something better is on the horizon. When I re-entered job hunting after 12 years of part-time work/full-time mom, I was crushed when I came in second for a role that felt like the perfect fit.

    The next month a great opportunity presented that was better pay, lifestyle, and fit. The waiting is the hardest part.

  4. Sending good thoughts your way. I can imagine the angst, I’m also not so good at sitting with uncertainty—there are plans to be made dammit!

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